Saint Patricks Day Funnies Sampler

From Denny: Every Wednesday there is Cheeky Quote Day over at the flagship blog, The Social Poets, my funny quirky place that spun off 12 blogs. Here's a little sampling of what I found for Saint Patrick's Day, even some serious stuff - like the guy's real name.

Quotes

In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God. - Stephen Braveheart

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Irish Saying

Never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don't want to press your luck. - Anonymous





This is an excerpt from the history of the man and his experiences.

Snakes Legend

OK, moving right along to the snakes legend of driving them all out of Ireland for which he is so famous. The word is on that story that he stood on a hill and with his wooden staff like some Irish Moses he commanded the snakes to leave town and drown in the sea, banishing them forever from Ireland. It is true that Ireland has no snakes.

Another version of the legend is a bit cheeky as those storytellers like more conflict and spice to their stories. They tell it that the snakes resisted Patrick. So, Patrick tricked the snakes into entering a small box that he then threw into the garbage dump of the sea.

OK, but the snake symbolism still bothers you? Yeah, me too, so I looked into it further. Turns out in Celtic thought that snakes represent esoteric knowledge much like in the Egyptian culture. Because of this snakes were sacred to the Druids.

Snakes are also associated with the Celtic father god called The Dagda, "the good god" who is the god of good and plenty. It's what we now today call the spiritual energy of abundance. OK, that was the family friendly version. For more on this particular peculiar god, go here.





Of course, Guinness Beer has to get into the act with some cheeky ads:









*** To view the already popular full post, including a funny comedy video of a succession of stand-up comics telling Irish jokes, go here.

*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel welcome to drop a comment, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

8 Funny Advice Quotes About Sleeping

Sleeping lion Photo by travlinman43 @ flickr

From Denny: Here's a sampling of the funny quotes about the subject of sleep for you to get a chuckle of the moment. For the full huge post of funnies with great photos over at The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day, go here.

The best Life advice:

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. - William Blake

Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. - Herman Melville




Sleeping boy at the table where sometimes sleep wins out over food Photo by indi.ca @ flickr


Best Interesting Observations:

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

From time immemorial artistic insights have been revealed to artists in their sleep and in dreams, so that at all times they ardently desired them. – Paracelsus

We are not hypocrites in our sleep. - William Hazlitt

Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There is only one thing people like that is good for them - a good night's sleep. - Edgar Watson Howe


*** For the full huge post of funnies with great photos over at The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day, go here.

*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers - and if you are new to this daily posting blog, please subscribe!

4 of 10 Top Quotes of 2009

*** Thought you might enjoy a teaser of Cheeky Quote Day! This is an excerpt from the full post over at The Social Poets:

Political Cats!From Denny: Some of the cheekiest - most irreverent or most odd - quotes were uttered in the year of 2009 in America. There are times when I wonder if there are regions of the country with lead in the water, sounding as bizarre as ancient Rome did right before they destroyed their empire. The ancient Romans poisoned themselves with lead in their wine, unknowingly, that also sterilized them, dropping the population of the ruling aristocracy. Their increasing bizarre behavior is well documented historically and, of course, Hollywood celebrated it with many a movie. After all, villains are great story grist! :)

I knew there was a verbal bridge somewhere in here... more like a teetering wood suspension bridge in the Amazon... 2009 has been a very bizarre year for quotes from politicians in particular and a few celebrities too. Notice that Tiger Woods is noticeably silent. Maybe he's saving his quotes for 2010. Stay tuned...

1. "Do ya think?" he's: Holding Back

"He deserves my silence."

— George W. Bush, former President, refusing to criticize President Barack Obama during a speech in March, his first address since leaving office. Yet the Republicans didn't waste any time later in the year, propelling Bush out in front to take the fire for complaining about Obama's job performance and handling of terrorism issues.

Hmmmm... yes, Obama still deserves his silence. The man was a hack in the Presidency so what real advice could he offer? The majority of the time he never watched nor read the news, depending upon filtered information from jealous coveting-the-power aides like Rove.



Photo by Ross D. Franklin/Getty

2. Obama's Persistent Peanut Gallery (OPPG) throwing rotten tomatoes:

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care."

— Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor, rambling all over the place on her Facebook page, whiner lying about a provision of the proposed health care bill that called for Medicare to reimburse doctors for counseling patients on end-of-life-care issues such as living wills and hospice availability. Somehow, she had reading comprehension problems and started screaming death panels are in the bill when clearly they are not.



3. Perilously Close on the Heels of Republican Retreads

"I'm happy to get good ideas from across the political spectrum, from Democrats and Republicans. What I won't do is return to the failed theories of the last eight years that got us into this fix in the first place, because those theories have been tested, and they have failed. And that's what part of the election in November was all about."

— President Obama, during his first official press conference, on 9 Feb 2009. What's annoying is when you follow such a disastrous act like Bush and Cheney who basically broke several world governments, is that you are forced to continue some of the same policies until you can stabilize a region, beginning new policies to repair all the damage.

So it goes in American politics for decades: Republicans like to blow up the world and Democrats come in behind them to clean up their mess. Then the public gets angry it takes too long to clean up the mess and choose Republicans again, thinking the economy will pick up. There is a real disconnect of the American voter with an understanding of just how long it takes to repair a mess and then gin up the economy.



4. The Commies Are Coming! The Commies Are Coming! Stay safe; hide under your school desk when the nukes hit. (Now there's a plan.)

"I don't want this country turning into Russia, turning into a socialized country. My question for you is, What are you going to do to restore this country back to what our founders created according to the Constitution?"

— Katy Abram, a Pennsylvania mother, speaking at a health care town hall moderated by Senator Arlen Specter in August in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. If this woman knew what she was talking about, understood economics, international diplomacy and common sense, and actually cared if women got equal pay for the same job, well, she would never have voted Republican in the first place. These guys are the ones who sent our country careening out of control financially for decades starting with President Reagan and his paranoid Star Wars concept.

*** For the full post and quotes 5 - 10: including Michael Jackson, Hillary Clinton, Berlusconi, David Letterman and con man Madoff, visit The Social Poets, go here.

*** THANKS for visiting!

Editorial Cartoons 2 Jan 2010

From Denny: Here's a sampling of editorial cartoonists' opinions, love 'em or hate 'em, as to the news and the year and decade that was and what the New Year might bring us:

See Cartoons by Cartoon by R.J. Matson - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

A short video of a few of the New Years fireworks worldwide:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Mike Keefe - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

It's the big ugly fact that if government does not spend the economy will crash down upon our ears. As it is, the banks are still not lending much for car loans and demanding 20% down for houses, creating a shaky economy:

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Larry Wright - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Gary McCoy - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Milt Priggee - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Jeff Parker - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

*** For the full post, full of more grinners, over at The Social Poets, go here.

*** THANKS for visiting and have a great weekend!

Funny New Years Quotes

From Denny: Here's a fun sampling of the funny quotes and more I posted about New Year's. For the full post, check out The Social Poets blog: Funny New Years Quotes, Smarter New Years Resolution Tips - Cheeky Quote Day! 29 Dec 2009.

New Years Quotes

* Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

* The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P. J. O'Rourke

* An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

* May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams

* New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot! Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

New Year's Poem

Happy New Year!!

A New Years toast to love and laughter
and happily ever after

A health to you, a wealth to you,
And the best that life can give to you.

Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening and
Live every day as if it were your last. - Anonymous

Funny New Year's Resolutions

* But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year old habits. - Andre Gide

* Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

* Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others. - Anonymous



*** For the full post, check out The Social Poets blog, Funny New Years Quotes, Smarter New Years Resolution Tips - Cheeky Quote Day! 29 Dec 2009.

*** ALSO: Rare Blue Moon Shines on New Years Eve, Origin of 6 Meanings

8 Easy Yummy New Years Recipes to Warm Your Guests

Fun Kid Recipes, Activities Keep Them Busy For Holidays


*** THANKS for visiting!

Funny Cartoonists 26 Dec 2009

From Denny: Here's a sampling of what is happening over at The Social Poet this Saturday, enjoy! I just love editorial cartoons; they really capture the mood of the country. It's fun to look back over the year to see what was happening politically in a society as the cartoons often speak more truth than all the news articles which are often funded by some lobby. At the very least cartoons give us the public reactions to what our politicians are doing - or claim to be doing. :) Take a look:

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Jimmy Margulies - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Nate Beeler - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Eric Allie - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Joe Heller - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

*** For the full post of a slew of funny cartoons, pay a visit to The Social Poets where I park them every Saturday, go here.

*** THANKS for visiting and hope you had a great holiday!

Funny Christmas Quotes and More Holiday Fun

From Denny: Here's an excerpt and a sampling of this week's Cheeky Quote Day post over at my other humorous blog, The Social Poets, enjoy! Just so you won't miss out on more grins, there's a link at the end of this post to take you there. :)

5 Funny Christmas Quotes

* The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

* Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. - Richard Lamm

* Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. – W. C. Fields

* Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson

* Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong

Funny Christmas Story

Saying the Holiday Prayer

A four-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Then there's the "local" version of the famous Christmas classic "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."

The Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn, New York


'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was strirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!

Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted
And he called dem by name

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!

- (Understandably) Anonymous

*** For the full post over at The Social Poets go check out The Funny Side of Christmas - Cheeky Quote Day! 16 Dec 2009

*** THANKS for visiting and have a great holiday!

5 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Photos

Trash-talking turkeys just passing the time until someone took them seriously... Photo by stevevoght @ flickr from another of my funny posts: 21 Funny Thanksgiving Fighting Turkey Photos

From Denny: I found some hilarious Thanksgiving Day quotes along with a few smart jokes and LOL holiday poems for this week's Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets blog. Click on the links below for the full post of funnies and the Obama Turkey Pardon Preparation Video. Here's a sampling taste to get you started on your holiday grinning, enjoy!

Quotes

* If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen

* Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt. - Roseanne Barr

* It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status. - Russell Baker

* Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~ Michael Dresser

* I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

*** For more funny holiday quotes, holiday jokes and hilarious poems, the Obama funny video about his first act of turkey pardoning (wonder if it's name is Cheney???) and great holiday recipe links, check out The Social Poets and Cheeky Quote Day, go here.

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often for a grin! :)

6 Ironic Grinners! Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets - 4 Nov 2009

Ironic funny quotes comin' at ya, hard and fast! :)

From Denny: Found a lot of witty quotes for the Cheeky Quote Day! segment over at The Social Poets today! They will definitely get you thinking while you are laughing, a real two-fer to keep the brain cells in stellar fitness shape. :)

Witty quotes also make great writing prompts as they expose your mind to thinking about a subject from a different angle. Construct your own writing exercises for your blog or journal. Riffing off of quotes really does a lot to improve your writing. Give it a try and see for yourself!



Here are a few funny quotes for your tasty mind candy today (while you are detoxing from your Halloween candy high):

Quotes

* All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley

* The sinning is the best part of repentance. - Arab Proverb

* Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. - G.B. Shaw, "Maxims for Revolutionists," 1898

* It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious. - Kin Hubbard

* Is a stolen copyright a copywrong? – Anonymous

*** Thanks for visiting, much appreciated and come back often for a grin!

*** To get to Ironic Grinners - Cheeky Quote Day! 4 Nov 2009 - go here.

Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets, Funny Halloween Animation

Halloween: the only time of the year we can get away with acting "socially inappropriate," i. e., obnoxious! :)

From Denny: Make sure you get your silly Halloween seasonal laughs today reading Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets!

Thanks for visiting, everyone, really appreciate all the many visits every day and your support! Have a great day!