8 Funny Posts 4 A Grin From Dennys Blogs - 30 June 2010

*** When times are tough what do you do? Laughter is the best stress reliever! Here are 8 posts from this week's posts at Denny's blogs for you to enjoy.



Cup of coffee from Brazil by il Quoquo @ flickr


From Denny: Between Colbert and Stewart, well, let's just say they have BP's shenanigans covered. Nothing gets past them!

In my ongoing effort to provide stress relief when the national conversation is so depressing - because of the BP Gulf Coast oil spill, a fragile economy and politicians who continually refuse to do right by the American people - we all need to keep laughing our way through these times until they get better. Trust that times will get better and they will. Until then, while we are in transition, we must develop coping skills for managing daily stress like making sure we are laughing often.

This is one of those times when it is true that "the pen is mightier than the sword" for the right kind of writing can bring relief to thousands in one moment over the internet. Pretty cool when you think about it. How many people can accomplish so much out of thin air? :)


Funny Smile Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day - 30 June 2010

Roundup of Late Night Funnies: BP Oil Spill, McChrystal Firing - 28 June 2010

Funny Video: Colbert Says McChrystal Had To Have Been High

Funny Video: Stewart Nails Republicans As Flip-Floppers On BP Escrow Fund

Funny Video: Colbert Lampoons Barton's BP Apology

Funny Video: Stewart Lampoons McChrystal's Balls For An Honorable Discharge

5 Funny Shorts: What Kids Think About Love and Life

Funny Video: Surfing Group Known as The Radical Rodents


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*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

The Social Poets
Dennys Global Politics
The Soul Calendar
Visual Insights
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations
Poems From A Spiritual Heart
The Healing Waters
Dennys Art Sanctuary
Romancing The Chocolate
Comfort Food From Louisiana
Unusual 2 Tasty
Dennys Blog Feeds
Dennys Funny Quotes
Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd

10 Funny Posts For a Laugh - 23 June 2010

*** Links to funny posts from several of Dennys blogs this week!





From Denny: I just love the enthusiasm of this funny dog running full tilt, tongue flailing out and slapping his face. He is undeterred and happy anyway. If only we humans could live in the moment like this dog. Well, not to worry, I've found some funny things on the web this week and posted them: jokes, funny quotes, funny photos and funny videos. Knock yourselves out. And, hey, make sure to send me photos of you laughing - and having a good time falling off your chair. :)


Funny Lawyer Quotes and Jokes - Cheeky Quote Day 23 June 2010

Funny Legal News Story: The Case of a Contraceptives Misstaken Use

10 Funny Signs and 10 Funny Short Jokes

Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 21 June 2010

Funny Video: Colberts The Word, Stay the Course

Funny Video: Colberts Simplified Version of Obama's BP Oil Spill Speech

Funny Video: Colbert Examines America's Strained Relationship With England

Funny Video: Stewarts Take On America's Oil Dependence

Funny Cartoon: What to Wear For Employee Review

Funny Video: Stewart Calls Joe Barton A 'Disdainful A--hole'



*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

Funny Groundhog Phils Says 2 More Weeks of Winter

From Denny: Here we are now four long weeks into an extended winter, proclaimed by the celebrity groundhog himself to last a full six weeks. Punxsutawney Phil is known around the globe for his famous forecasting abilities even the psychics envy. And he does it all on a non-cash basis, preferring to barter for great room and board, yummy treats, lots of petting and celebrity status adoration. Read that as he is one spoiled pampered little guy. His fan club is known as the Inner Circle and is made up of local dignitaries dedicated to providing his lavish style.

Since we are still stuck in another two weeks of winter it was fun to check out the official site of the famous groundhog himself and discover some funny facts about the celebration. After all, this famous psychic was correct yet again this year.

Phil has quite the devoted fan base. There are T-shirts with his loving face, coffee mugs with his morning "mug." Stainless steel travel coffee mugs are lovingly adorned with his message. Groundhog cookies come with a recipe you can make your own or available for purchase. Powerful refrigerator magnets remind you of his presence in your life!

There are groundhog jokes, groundhog cookie cutters (I kid you not), groundhog lesson plans for teachers, a poetry competition and more.

While researching the origins of this crazy celebration that now millions of people watch all over the globe, I had a laughing good time. It was time to share. Here is a sampling of the funnies to get you started grinning.

*** For the full post over at The Social Poets, go here.





Noteworthy highlight in Phil's long history:

* During Prohibition Phil threatened to impose 60 weeks of winter on the community if he wasn't allowed a drink. (Psychics must need a stiff shot every now and then.)


Top 11 Reasons to Celebrate Groundhog Day


11. It's on nearly every calendar.

10. Helps relieve cabin fever.

9. Spring or not, it's six weeks till St Urho's Day.

8. Forecast is no less reliable than the National Weather Service.

7. At least one of them critters is bound to see things your way.

6. Valentine's Day is too depressing for nerds.

5. Unlike the Easter bunny, he keeps his dirty paws outside.

4. As they used to say on radio: "The Shadow knows."

3. It's fun to say "Punxsutawney."

2. If a rodent can bring us an early spring, more power to him.

1. In Minnesota, either way we come out ahead.


Quote

* The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears. - Bill Vaughn


*** For the full post over at The Social Poets, go here.


*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, a big shout to awesome current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe!

4 of 10 Top Quotes of 2009

*** Thought you might enjoy a teaser of Cheeky Quote Day! This is an excerpt from the full post over at The Social Poets:

Political Cats!From Denny: Some of the cheekiest - most irreverent or most odd - quotes were uttered in the year of 2009 in America. There are times when I wonder if there are regions of the country with lead in the water, sounding as bizarre as ancient Rome did right before they destroyed their empire. The ancient Romans poisoned themselves with lead in their wine, unknowingly, that also sterilized them, dropping the population of the ruling aristocracy. Their increasing bizarre behavior is well documented historically and, of course, Hollywood celebrated it with many a movie. After all, villains are great story grist! :)

I knew there was a verbal bridge somewhere in here... more like a teetering wood suspension bridge in the Amazon... 2009 has been a very bizarre year for quotes from politicians in particular and a few celebrities too. Notice that Tiger Woods is noticeably silent. Maybe he's saving his quotes for 2010. Stay tuned...

1. "Do ya think?" he's: Holding Back

"He deserves my silence."

— George W. Bush, former President, refusing to criticize President Barack Obama during a speech in March, his first address since leaving office. Yet the Republicans didn't waste any time later in the year, propelling Bush out in front to take the fire for complaining about Obama's job performance and handling of terrorism issues.

Hmmmm... yes, Obama still deserves his silence. The man was a hack in the Presidency so what real advice could he offer? The majority of the time he never watched nor read the news, depending upon filtered information from jealous coveting-the-power aides like Rove.



Photo by Ross D. Franklin/Getty

2. Obama's Persistent Peanut Gallery (OPPG) throwing rotten tomatoes:

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care."

— Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor, rambling all over the place on her Facebook page, whiner lying about a provision of the proposed health care bill that called for Medicare to reimburse doctors for counseling patients on end-of-life-care issues such as living wills and hospice availability. Somehow, she had reading comprehension problems and started screaming death panels are in the bill when clearly they are not.



3. Perilously Close on the Heels of Republican Retreads

"I'm happy to get good ideas from across the political spectrum, from Democrats and Republicans. What I won't do is return to the failed theories of the last eight years that got us into this fix in the first place, because those theories have been tested, and they have failed. And that's what part of the election in November was all about."

— President Obama, during his first official press conference, on 9 Feb 2009. What's annoying is when you follow such a disastrous act like Bush and Cheney who basically broke several world governments, is that you are forced to continue some of the same policies until you can stabilize a region, beginning new policies to repair all the damage.

So it goes in American politics for decades: Republicans like to blow up the world and Democrats come in behind them to clean up their mess. Then the public gets angry it takes too long to clean up the mess and choose Republicans again, thinking the economy will pick up. There is a real disconnect of the American voter with an understanding of just how long it takes to repair a mess and then gin up the economy.



4. The Commies Are Coming! The Commies Are Coming! Stay safe; hide under your school desk when the nukes hit. (Now there's a plan.)

"I don't want this country turning into Russia, turning into a socialized country. My question for you is, What are you going to do to restore this country back to what our founders created according to the Constitution?"

— Katy Abram, a Pennsylvania mother, speaking at a health care town hall moderated by Senator Arlen Specter in August in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. If this woman knew what she was talking about, understood economics, international diplomacy and common sense, and actually cared if women got equal pay for the same job, well, she would never have voted Republican in the first place. These guys are the ones who sent our country careening out of control financially for decades starting with President Reagan and his paranoid Star Wars concept.

*** For the full post and quotes 5 - 10: including Michael Jackson, Hillary Clinton, Berlusconi, David Letterman and con man Madoff, visit The Social Poets, go here.

*** THANKS for visiting!

Funny Christmas Quotes and More Holiday Fun

From Denny: Here's an excerpt and a sampling of this week's Cheeky Quote Day post over at my other humorous blog, The Social Poets, enjoy! Just so you won't miss out on more grins, there's a link at the end of this post to take you there. :)

5 Funny Christmas Quotes

* The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

* Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. - Richard Lamm

* Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. – W. C. Fields

* Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson

* Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong

Funny Christmas Story

Saying the Holiday Prayer

A four-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Then there's the "local" version of the famous Christmas classic "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."

The Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn, New York


'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was strirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!

Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted
And he called dem by name

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!

- (Understandably) Anonymous

*** For the full post over at The Social Poets go check out The Funny Side of Christmas - Cheeky Quote Day! 16 Dec 2009

*** THANKS for visiting and have a great holiday!

Catch Up on Funny Posts at Dennys Funny Quotes 1 Dec 2009

What'd ya say? I'm so smart? But are you sure about that?

From Denny: OK, so I've been slacking off for the holidays... :) What can I say? I've been in a "food coma"? Nice try; Thanksgiving Day was last week... My only defense would be that food comas take a long time from which to recover, uh, ok, equally lame...

This morning I've been working on Dennys Funny Quotes ever since I found out Blogger only backs up posts. Sweet. All those category lists which took hours and hours to build are basically toast so I've been creating posts of all my categories.

For a grin today take a look at what I've rounded up so far:

Funny Retirement Quotes

Funny Friendship Quotes

Funny Ironic Humor Quotes

Funny Crazy Cat Quotes

Funny Quotes About Quotations

Funny Cooking Quotes

Funny Conan OBrien Quotes

Funny Jay Leno Quotes

Funny Inspirational Quotes

*** Try not to dine too much you might end up in a funny quotes coma! Save room in your mind tummy for tomorrow's Cheeky Quote Day! :)

7 Funny Quotes About Reading Habits

Reading Upside Down Photo by garryknight @ flickr

From Denny: Today, and every Wednesday, is Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets, one of my many blogs where I dance on the airwaves. Here's a sampling of what's going on today:

Quotes

* A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
and nobody wants to read. ~ Mark Twain ~

* Never lend books, for no one ever returns them;
the only books I have in my library are books
that other folks have left me. ~ Anatole France ~

* I read the newspaper avidly. It is my one form of continuous fiction. ~ Aneurin Bevan ~

* Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

* Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
~ Groucho Marx ~

* Books are the blessed chloroform of the mind. ~ Robert Chambers ~

* Never judge a book by its movie.
~ J. W. Eagan ~


*** To read a bonanza of funny quotes like this, hike on over to The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day to get some more grins, go here.

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often! :)

6 Ironic Grinners! Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets - 4 Nov 2009

Ironic funny quotes comin' at ya, hard and fast! :)

From Denny: Found a lot of witty quotes for the Cheeky Quote Day! segment over at The Social Poets today! They will definitely get you thinking while you are laughing, a real two-fer to keep the brain cells in stellar fitness shape. :)

Witty quotes also make great writing prompts as they expose your mind to thinking about a subject from a different angle. Construct your own writing exercises for your blog or journal. Riffing off of quotes really does a lot to improve your writing. Give it a try and see for yourself!



Here are a few funny quotes for your tasty mind candy today (while you are detoxing from your Halloween candy high):

Quotes

* All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley

* The sinning is the best part of repentance. - Arab Proverb

* Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. - G.B. Shaw, "Maxims for Revolutionists," 1898

* It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious. - Kin Hubbard

* Is a stolen copyright a copywrong? – Anonymous

*** Thanks for visiting, much appreciated and come back often for a grin!

*** To get to Ironic Grinners - Cheeky Quote Day! 4 Nov 2009 - go here.

Editorial Cartoons over at The Social Poets 24 Oct 2009

From Denny: Help me celebrate The Social Poets one year blog anniversary by laughing at today's editorial cartoons of the week collected into one post. There is certainly plenty going on in American culture that the cartoonists are not short of issues to lampoon.

Editorial Cartoons This Week 24 Oct 2009 at The Social Poets, go here.

*** Thanks for visiting, everyone, and for all your great support! Certainly never expected so many by the hundreds to show up so quickly; glad you are enjoying what I find and post, thanks again!

Cheeky Quote Day! over at The Social Poets

*** Comedians like Jay Leno keep us laughing with a ready quip!

From Denny: In the mood for some hilarious Jay Leno quotes? Hike on over to The Social Poets for this week's Cheeky Quote Day! segment. If ever there is a cheeky guy Jay Leno is rated at the top.

For 35 Jay Leno Quotes, Cheeky Quote Day 21 October 2009, go here.

Here's a trio sampling:

* A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on a shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!

* In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word 'peace.' Right idea, wrong president. (George Bush was in office, not Bill Clinton.)

* Wait till these Enron guys find out that in prison, the term "Insider trading" has a whole new meaning.

*** Thanks for visiting!

For 35 Jay Leno Quotes, Cheeky Quote Day 21 October 2009, go here.